Choosing Peace Over Performance
I know Valentine’s Day is coming up. It’s a holiday many people look forward to, while others can’t wait for it to come and go. All over social media, we often see posts about someone’s spouse, boyfriend, or partner not asking them to be their Valentine yet. There’s a constant pressure to be presented in a certain way, to prove something, to measure up — when so much of it is fueled by marketing strategies and curated highlight reels.
If you are in a season of singleness, separation, or simply not feeling joyful about Valentine’s Day, it is okay. Some seasons in relationships feel heavier than others — not because anything is wrong, but because life shifted. Schedules changed. People changed. Our needs changed. And suddenly, what once felt easy now feels a little harder to hold.
These seasons can be confusing. We start questioning everything — the relationship, ourselves, the connection — when in reality, it may simply be a season asking for patience and care, not fixing.
And then there’s the pressure of Galentine’s — the expectation to celebrate friendships loudly and publicly. But what if you don’t have close friendships right now? What if your circle feels small or distant? It can leave you feeling “less than,” when that simply isn’t true.
Whether you celebrate Valentine’s Day, redefine it, or skip it altogether, do it in the way that feels right for you. There is no single way to move through this season. Give yourself permission to honor where you are — without comparison, without pressure, and without apology.
For me, I’ve never been big on Valentine’s Day. When I was single, I would skip right past the Valentine’s aisle in the store. Some years I’d buy myself chocolate or flowers — not because I felt I had to, but because I could. When I was dating or even now married, I received gifts, I often found myself saying, “It’s not necessary.” I’ve always believed love should be shown throughout the year, not centered around one day shaped by pressure and expectation.
We are more than holidays. We deserve love in the moments — on a random Thursday, in the mornings, or a simple gesture. Yes, many people say, “I feel loved every day,” and that’s beautiful and true. But why place so much pressure on one specific date to prove it?
This year, I’ll be at home, watching a good show and allowing myself to rest. No pressure. No performance. Just presence.
It’s okay to choose slowness over busy.
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